I started writing again. Something rare in this city: I have a storage space the size of a room in the sub cellar of my building. It has a lock and a key. My boyfriend and I made it into a bohemian oasis of silence and focus. I bought Ableton Push and downloaded Live 9 and I’ve started writing with it. It separates me from real instruments which I need right now because they present too many blocks. With the piano and my voice there’s so much expectation after so much time left to rust this year…I expect myself to come up with amazing things. It’s sad. I have a Steinway sitting in my apartment and I barely play it because I am paralyzed by my fear. The more I let my fear in the more frozen my hands become. Point being though, Ableton is just buttons and there is no expectation but to play and relish in the joy of discovery.
When I finish 3 songs I will put them on SoundCloud and find a name for myself that is suited to the person inside me.
Things are starting.
There is light.